1991年搞笑诺贝尔奖

化学奖

雅克•本闻内斯特,多产的劝诱者和献身于《自然》的通讯记者,因为他不懈地追求,发现了水是一种智能液体;还因为他为了满足不断地求知欲,展示了水是所有事件当中惟一幸存时间最长的、显示事件发生痕迹的一种物质。

医学奖

艾伦•克利杰尔曼,水蒸气的征服者和Beano(http://www.beano.net/)的发明者,因为他从事了具有先驱意义的工作,研制了防毒液,以阻止膨胀、不适、困窘。

教育奖

詹姆斯•丹佛斯•奎尔,时间的需要者、空间的占有者,因为他比他人更好地向我们展示了科学教育的必要性。

生物学奖

罗伯特•克拉克•格雷厄姆,精子的选择者和生殖的预言者,因为他是开发胚芽选择库的先驱。胚芽选择库是一个只接收诺贝尔奖获得者和奥运会运动员捐献的精子的精子库。

经济学奖

迈克儿•弥尔肯,华尔街巨子、后保债券之父。

文学奖

埃里希•冯•戴尼肯,因为他说明了人类文明是如何受到外部空间古代宇宙飞行士的影响的。

和平奖

爱德华•泰勒,匈牙利裔美籍物理学家,协助研发了原子弹;是氢弹之父,提供了氢弹的理论框架.是星球大战武器系统的热情支持者,因为他为了改变和平的含义而献出了自己毕生的精力。

英文原文

CHEMISTRY: Jacques Benveniste, prolific proseletizer and dedicated correspondent of "Nature," for his persistent discovery that water, H2O, is an intelligent liquid, and for demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is able to remember events long after all trace of those events has vanished.

MEDICINE: Alan Kligerman, deviser of digestive deliverance, vanquisher of vapor, and inventor of Beano, for his pioneering work with anti-gas liquids that prevent bloat, gassiness, discomfort and embarassment.

EDUCATION: J. Danforth Quayle, consumer of time and occupier of space, for demonstrating, better than anyone else, the need for science education.

BIOLOGY: Robert Klark Graham, selector of seeds and prophet of propagation, for his pioneering development of the Repository for Germinal Choice, a sperm bank that accepts donations only from Nobellians and Olympians.

ECONOMICS: Michael Milken, titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond, to whom the world is indebted.

LITERATURE: Erich Von Daniken, visionary raconteur and author of "Chariots of the Gods," for explaining how human civilization was influenced by ancient astronauts from outer space.

PEACE: Edward Teller, father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the Star Wars weapons system, for his lifelong efforts to change.

原文地址:http://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig1991。

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